Picture this – you just left the office at 7pm after a long hectic day to head home so you can do a few more hours of work before bed. You are driving along with a sea of other people on a freeway in a major city flowing along at 70mph. It feels productive, there is a lot of energy, things are happening so fast so you stay alert even though you feel very tired and burned out …. then all of a sudden you hear a pop then a thump thump thump and you feel your car jiggling. You realize you have a flat tire so you pull over on the shoulder. As your car coasts to a rest a list of todos from work and home floods your mind. You then feel the dread of having to work even later to make up for lost time. .. all because of this blasted tire… the worst timing ever.. Then you suddenly notice the woosh, woosh woosh of all the cars ripping past you at what feels like insanely dangerous speeds. You think to yourself – wow, I didn’t realize that I was going that fast. You can feel your car twitch repeatedly - as each one whizzes by it tries to suction your car back into the high speed flow of life. You sit for moment then take a deep breath and get the feeling that you just got a time out from the rat race. You are surprised that after all this time you didn’t realize how fast you were going and how busy you were until you stopped for a moment and noticed.
My work schedule had been increasingly busy over the last decade until March of 2009 when I got laid off. During several years prior to the layoff - I had convinced two organizations to hire me as their I.T. Director at the same time. I was managing two teams of people providing technology support as well as database and other technology projects for both organizations. I loved being so productive and efficient. I loved being challenged with the diversity of two different organizations. I prided myself in being a master multitasker. It wasn’t until I got laid off that I had fully realized the impact on myself, who I was and how it was affecting the people around me when I was very busy - which was most of the time. After the layoff I had a lot of extra time on my hands because I was now only working about 15 hours a week. As my life slowed down with this extra time - I started noticing things about myself that surprised me. I noticed I was much more patient with my wife and kids. I noticed more positive traits in my kids and took the time to enjoy them in the moment. I noticed I was a better listener. I noticed I was more engaged with people when they talked. I noticed more nonverbal things about people. I noticed more when people were in pain or hurting even when they didn’t tell me in words. I noticed I gave people more grace when they didn’t deliver on what they promised the first time. I noticed that I wasn’t worrying as much about little things getting done. I was in a completely different state of mind.
This layoff became an important realization for me. It was one of those God has my attention moments. It was a life lesson for me about the importance of moderating the pace of my life so I don’t compromise my ability to enjoy people, life, and things around me. I still love to be productive but now I realize that I need to keep a better balance. The challenge though is that I don’t know I am missing out unless I get some down time – every day. It really does sneak up on me. When we are busy we don’t realize we are missing out on life itself. That’s why I found that I need to just put it into my schedule and have a strict discipline to do it.
How do I do it personally you ask? For me I do it in 3 steps.
1. Free My Mind: I first find a quiet dark place to take away all the distractions. I find that I need to first empty what is occupying my mind at the time by writing it down. Otherwise the stresses of the day just pop in and take over. I’ve found that it helps to write these things down so I don’t worry about keeping track of htem. I’ve been doing this by journaling for 10 minutes about what is on my mind. Then I just have a notepad in case anything pops back into my head – I write it down then close my eyes again.
2. Listening: Then I focus on listening to myself and also anything that God might be trying to tell me. Sometimes I don’t hear anything. Sometimes I am reminded of someone that I need to encourage or apologize to. I also notice how I might be feeling i.e. sad, frustrated, devalued etc. I do this for another 15-30 minutes. It’s very hard in the beginning – especially if you are ADD like me. With practice you’ll get better, you’ll also start noticing important things. Things about people and relationships.
3. Contemplation: Another thing I like to do is contemplate. Just let you mind wander about the various interesting things in life. I find my best invention and creative ideas come at this time. This is a time to Get Perspective on myself, God’s creation and appreciate the people in my life!
Try it out and let me know if you find success!
Ted
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